First, let me explain; having the ability to watch any DVD of choice (thanks to my lovely young lass who works at a dvd rental store), we are in the unique position of renting anything of varying grades of goodness .... and badness. It puts the mediocre movies in real perspective.
Saying that, I have viewed many movies. Excellent movies, and absolutely woeful movies alike.
Material Girls, starring Hillary Duff (and her sister, Whatsherface, whom I had never heard of before), and a tired and bored Angelica Houston, is one of those movies that gives one pause long enough and to reevaluate all the aforementioned absolutely woeful movies out there.
Okay. I've seen Chicken Park. Terrible, s*** omg crapping bad movie. While watching Material Girls, I would have sold the cutest kitten on Earth to 300lbs homocidal maniac with a penchant for sodomising cute kittens for the chance to see Chicken Park.
Unimaginative, playing to pop culture, annoying and full of the typical pap-crap one could expect from an over exploited junior pop star (they roped in her moderately less talented sister just to seal the bet), and banked on the vain hope that a redo of the Material Girl song by Madonna would make for an exceptional cash cow. With a plotline as predictable as the moon's orbit, the two women pounce from predicament to predicament like every other similarly themed movie has for the past thirty years, but with less finesse.
And poor Angelica Houston. Either she owed a blood debt to the producers or casting agency, or she was drugged up on valium and had a n Xbox controller connected to her motor functions, but it seemed that whenever the camera was not on her she was looking at her watch in vain hope that the time would pass quickly so that she could get the hell out of that studio and drink some stiff drinks. She delivered her lines like she sent a fax of her buttocks to New Idea - she seemed embarrassed and could do little more than bank on her successful history of excellent films to pull her from the inexorable depression the turn out of this film would weigh upon her otherwise proud and timeless presence.
There is a wise man, in the land of animated fiction, who could look disdainly upon a movie of this quality and utter three immortal lines that would give succinctly describe the movie better than I ever can.
"Worst. Movie. Ever."